1. |
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|
my baby shouldn't love me
why do they hold me
at night they console me
it's going to be alright
last time it was all me
i gave, I'm not sorry
I'm spent, can't get to sleep
it's going to be alright
sweet dreams
sweet dreams
face down on the floor
looking for some more
living in the shag
this look isn't half bad
the feeling learned to speak
it tells me don't go to sleep
is the smell stuck in my clothes
it's going to be alright
sweet dreams
sweet dreams
now it comes back again in waves
counting the cracks in your backyard's pavement
ready to be uncomfortable again
by just simply walking in
terra-cotta memories had me
worried for us
perfect slope pushing on my cheek
makes me crazy
baratone quips from wine stained lips
now you've got me
all this time i've just been waiting
for you joojoo
|
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2. |
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|
i've tried
stayed up so many nights
drafting up exactly what i like
help me into this dress
i'll explain the rest
if i say nothing that's just what i'll become
i finally have a word for it
tell me, baby
why am i crying
i'm so happy
but when i said the words I fell apart
it's okay
ask away
tear it off
look me in the eye when you say that it's fine
it's new
i'm struggling with what I should do
can't apologize enough for this mood
but i hate public spaces
i'll cover my face until i get home
wish i were happy as anything at all
now that i know there is no letting go
tell me, baby
why am i crying
i'm so happy
but when I said the words I fell apart
it's okay
ask away
tear it off
look me in the eye when you say that it is fine
i thought i'd be safe here
it's fine, i'll come out, and i'll be saved here
but no no no no no no no no no no nonononon
that's a different kind of weird
nonononononononononono
that's a different kind of queer
it's okay
ask away
tear it off
i won't look you in the eye
baby, tell me
why am i crying
i'm so happy
but when I said the words i fell apart
it's okay
ask away
tear it off
but
look
me
in the eyeeeee ee e e e e
|
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3. |
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|
i dont see what's wrong with me
despite the words you spit on my cheek
i dont know why your god would make
people like me just to have something to hate
more like family than a friend
you're the reason that i vowed to keep it in
you're the reason why it's hard to trust men
and why it took me so long to talk about it again
i was so young (scared and nervous)
don't trust anyone (go off, have fun)
now I'm happy to say
bye
hallelujah for the friends since you
walking my drunk ass to the curb to puke
happy screaming in the van down in LA
saying i love you for the first time in san jose
no questioning identity
hearing me out when i needed to speak
no laughing off anxiety
and always ready to kick me in the teeth
now i know some (just what i want)
still scared wont run (owe it to them)
pick the surface (see what you want)
ill wait for (another one)
please please let me
please let me be
what will i do when it's
exactly what I want it to be
im happy that i am this way ~*~*
im happy that i am this way ~*~*
im happy that i am this way ~*~*
im happy that i'm not this shell
im happy that i am this way ~*~*
im happy that i am this way ~*~*
im happy that i am this way ~*~*
im happy that i'm not this shell
|
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4. |
gaze
03:09
|
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|
im not ashamed
i just don't want to talk
and hear you blather on
about my body and walk
i don't know why you always insist
and push it to this
stay out of my head and
let me just calm down
let me just breathe out
let me exist
so tired of this
i don't think you know
what it means to say no
the dogma that you sew
forces me to go alone
corkscrew gaze
should i feign a cheer
like you've opened me up
and now i see it all clear
i don't know why you always insist
and push it to this
stay out of my head and
let me just calm down
let me just breathe out
let me exist
so tired of this
i can't
i will not wait and see
|
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enbi California
henlo ~*~*
they/them, please
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