We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

so happy to be here

by enbi

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $4.20 USD  or more

     

1.
my baby shouldn't love me why do they hold me at night they console me it's going to be alright last time it was all me i gave, I'm not sorry I'm spent, can't get to sleep it's going to be alright sweet dreams sweet dreams face down on the floor looking for some more living in the shag this look isn't half bad the feeling learned to speak it tells me don't go to sleep is the smell stuck in my clothes it's going to be alright sweet dreams sweet dreams now it comes back again in waves counting the cracks in your backyard's pavement ready to be uncomfortable again by just simply walking in terra-cotta memories had me worried for us perfect slope pushing on my cheek makes me crazy baratone quips from wine stained lips now you've got me all this time i've just been waiting for you joojoo
2.
i've tried stayed up so many nights drafting up exactly what i like help me into this dress i'll explain the rest if i say nothing that's just what i'll become i finally have a word for it tell me, baby why am i crying i'm so happy but when i said the words I fell apart it's okay ask away tear it off look me in the eye when you say that it's fine it's new i'm struggling with what I should do can't apologize enough for this mood but i hate public spaces i'll cover my face until i get home wish i were happy as anything at all now that i know there is no letting go tell me, baby why am i crying i'm so happy but when I said the words I fell apart it's okay ask away tear it off look me in the eye when you say that it is fine i thought i'd be safe here it's fine, i'll come out, and i'll be saved here but no no no no no no no no no no nonononon that's a different kind of weird nonononononononononono that's a different kind of queer it's okay ask away tear it off i won't look you in the eye baby, tell me why am i crying i'm so happy but when I said the words i fell apart it's okay ask away tear it off but look me in the eyeeeee ee e e e e
3.
i dont see what's wrong with me despite the words you spit on my cheek i dont know why your god would make people like me just to have something to hate more like family than a friend you're the reason that i vowed to keep it in you're the reason why it's hard to trust men and why it took me so long to talk about it again i was so young (scared and nervous) don't trust anyone (go off, have fun) now I'm happy to say bye hallelujah for the friends since you walking my drunk ass to the curb to puke happy screaming in the van down in LA saying i love you for the first time in san jose no questioning identity hearing me out when i needed to speak no laughing off anxiety and always ready to kick me in the teeth now i know some (just what i want) still scared wont run (owe it to them) pick the surface (see what you want) ill wait for (another one) please please let me please let me be what will i do when it's exactly what I want it to be im happy that i am this way ~*~* im happy that i am this way ~*~* im happy that i am this way ~*~* im happy that i'm not this shell im happy that i am this way ~*~* im happy that i am this way ~*~* im happy that i am this way ~*~* im happy that i'm not this shell
4.
gaze 03:09
im not ashamed i just don't want to talk and hear you blather on about my body and walk i don't know why you always insist and push it to this stay out of my head and let me just calm down let me just breathe out let me exist so tired of this i don't think you know what it means to say no the dogma that you sew forces me to go alone corkscrew gaze should i feign a cheer like you've opened me up and now i see it all clear i don't know why you always insist and push it to this stay out of my head and let me just calm down let me just breathe out let me exist so tired of this i can't i will not wait and see

about

Dedicated to queer people everywhere

credits

released June 19, 2019

Written and performed by Fil Cala

Recorded and mixed by Melina Duterte at EMA Studios jaysom.bandcamp.com

Mastered by Jack Shirley at The Atomic Garden theatomicgarden.com/jack

Cover Art By Megan Badilla
meganbadilla.com

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

enbi California

henlo ~*~*
they/them, please

contact / help

Contact enbi

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like enbi, you may also like: